We Have A Move In Date

It's currently six in the morning on a Saturday and I'm waiting for my first shoot of the day to come by. Today's going to be exciting. We're climbing to a location and it's going to be more of the kind of photography I've been wanting to do lately so I'm actually in a good mood this morning.

I don't think the reality of this week has hit me just yet but to sum things up, Monday we found out that we weren't accepted to either of the condos we'd applied to. Tuesday was melancholy and seemed hopeless. Wednesday we opted to decide to go look at an apartment building in town that had a few places available as we hadn't really considered complexes yet. That same day we applied for an apartment and were declined. Ahhh, the time between Wednesday night and Thursday morning was probably one of the most anxious of my life. The apartment building offices opened at 9:30 and after calling them a handful of times at 9:30 on the dot, we had a meeting that afternoon. Apparently something went wrong with the online portal and we were accepted. So suddenly Shay and I were looking at a lease agreement and we have a move in date. 

July 25th. That's exactly twenty-five days from today and I don't know what to think about everything. We got a place but it also happened super fast and sometimes when things go that way, I worry that we didn't think things over enough. 

Here's my thought stream: 

Did we settle for a place because we weren't getting accepted to anywhere else? Should we have kept looking? We wanted a two bedroom and now have a one. The rent doesn't include utilities and wifi and hidden fees; will we survive? Is our relationship going to be different? 

Two years ago I moved into this place, my place and it's been my safety zone. I love it here. It felt like the first place no one could kick me out of. I was never unwanted in a place I paid alone. It's small and falling apart but if anything ever happened, I knew I'd have a room to at least sleep in. Is it scary moving in with Shay? No. We've practically lived together for two years now. We've never had to run away to sleep at a different places but we always had the option to. 

So there's a lot of thinking going on. There's a lot of anxiety and preparation and I just want to start packing up and getting all this over with. I'm excited, I'm happy we found somewhere and I'm relieved that we'll have a place for both of our things for once. We have a garage to work out in, we have a bedroom to close the door to and we have a huge kitchen that I've always wanted. We also don't have a couch or a table or chairs and we have two mattresses and two kittens. What an insane series of days and this month is only going to be crazier but honestly, I'm moving in with my best friend.

I'm moving in with the man of my dreams. I still feel so much for one person and it's never a settling feeling, there's always more to us. There's always new things I notice or experience or breathe and he's always making me realise how easy and beautiful it is with us. 

So yes, it'll be goodbye to my little small place off the side of the road but it's also hello to the new beginning and our real first place. I wonder what next week is going to be like. 

T minus Twenty Five Days.