Last week Shay and I started off the week moving the gym equipment from his mom's garage into our second bedroom and creating our own little at home gym. A lot of our lives revolve around working out and fitness and it was the most realistic thing to do with our spare bedroom. My office is now sitting in our bedroom and I'm finally working more since I'm constantly around my work and with the gym being housed in our small quarters we honestly have a lot more free time. Driving to his moms and working out used to consume most of our afternoon so now we have two or three extra hours to explore and have fun outside of our routine. 
For Christmas this year Shay booked us a trip to Idyllwild in an airbnb cabin.We stayed in so many beautiful airbnbs this past year and I feel like I didn't document them enough on here. With our extra time we're spending hours talking about places to explore next year and I'm so excited that both of us are willing to go away for a few days to see some place new together. Idyllwild has been on my bucket list for years now. I even booked a random airbnb there four years ago when Shay and I first met and convinced myself I'd go up there alone. Obviously I didn't end up doing that and therefore the idea of going together for the holiday is truly so exciting. I drive around every day now for work and find myself smiling and giddy to go. We've booked the cabin for the seventeenth and eighteenth. 
Another thing we started doing with our spare time is reversing our normal roles and having Shay behind the camera and... me in front of it? Yesterday was the first day since I was probably eight years old that I let someone take a photo of me. It was kind of a huge step for me to let Shay shoot me for a change and to not absolutely hate what I saw in post production. Photography is so vulnerable and it's tough letting someone take your photo. It especially kills me when I envision something and don't have control of the camera. I'm awkward and don't really like it when people look at me for too long. I wasn't able to make eye contact or let him take too many photos at once but he made me feel so beautiful. He genuinely asked to take photos of me so that I could be more comfortable with myself. I'm so lucky to have a man that is so utterly kind to me. 
We went to the botanical gardens by our house and found our favorite fall trees and I don't think I'll ever forget these yellow leaves or the day Shay took photos of me. 

Yellow Leaves

Last week Shay and I started off the week moving the gym equipment from his mom's garage into our second bedroom and creating our own l...
12.10.2018

 On Monday we went and bought a Christmas tree. It's funny because the beginning of Shay and my story was so vivid, it feels as though everything happened just yesterday. Our first Christmas in the studio with the ornaments and the decor. It felt like we were beginning. The middle of our story so far was more centered around finding out how to co-exist while growing at the same time. Both of us in the last few years have gone through so much and things like holidays weren't ever important. When we first met I used to think affection had to be shown in certain ways. That thought held me back from enjoying so many special moments and years. 

With time we made it out of the studio. Avalon felt like the in between. The in between was difficult and we didn't really have time to grow a home. Our new place is different, special, particularly curated for us and we are spending more time being together in it and together alone. As I'm sitting here writing this on a rainy Wednesday night, Shay is across the hall working out in our new at home gym. There's something about the simplicity of knowing he's home with me but we're both doing separate things makes me feel more together than I've ever known. 

We bought a tree for this place. There's lights and acorns and it's small and fit for us four. The girls are our family and Zig's passing made us realize that even more. A lot has happened in both of our family lives the past few years. My mom moving away affected me in ways I couldn't have imagined. Lately, Shay's been going through similar things with his own mom. It's difficult and consuming and it's my turn to be strong. 
Yesterday we moved his gym to our home. His corner of the world where he can find peace on his own. I'm not able to give him much but he gives me the world. We're not the same as we were at the beginning of our story but now life feels a bit more like we're the main characters and a new book always begins and ends with us together. Christmas is a few weeks away and then it'll be a new year again. I feel older. I feel more equipped to handle my life and I'm not hesitant or reactive or hopeful for anything different or new because it'll be a new year. I'm happy with my life and I'm changing things daily; progressing, reassessing, enjoying. It's the first year there's no resolutions or changes or worries. I'm in control and I'm happy and I'm ready for a new year. 





Year End Ramblings and A Christmas Tree

 On Monday we went and bought a Christmas tree. It's funny because the beginning of Shay and my story was so vivid, it feels as t...
12.05.2018
It's perfectly cliche but during this time of year I'm always in the mood to bake. Recently Shay and I have both been flustered with family dramas and the idea of him coming home to a baked good makes me feel like I can bake it better. This month was spent working a lot, paying off debts, and cooking. Thanksgiving came and went and the end of the year is almost here. Today I bought liquor for the first time, it was baking bourbon and it felt funny. I'm about to be twenty-four and that feels old. Life is trickling by and I like to stop and reminisce in some moments. 
Baking with Bourbon.



Bourbon.

It's perfectly cliche but during this time of year I'm always in the mood to bake. Recently Shay and I have both been flustered...
11.27.2018
Thanksgiving moments. Twenty-Eighteen. 






Thanksgiving Memories

Thanksgiving moments. Twenty-Eighteen. 
11.24.2018
It's another new week. Although life is back to being busy, I like to look back at the photos in between reality. 



Photos In Between

It's another new week. Although life is back to being busy, I like to look back at the photos in between reality. 
11.05.2018
November 3rd. We went hiking after work and I remembered why I fell in love with taking pictures of you. 


To Be Alone With You.

November 3rd. We went hiking after work and I remembered why I fell in love with taking pictures of you. 
11.03.2018

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