EXPLORE.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

The Weekend Post : Copper Lights... (#6)

After a week of gloomy weather and staying in bed with books, I decided I needed to wake up this morning and force myself to feel a little better. Something that always lifts my mood is a little moment of pampering and playing with makeup to feel comfortable in my own skin again. I actually really like how my makeup turned out today, it's a little neutral and natural looking with some copper shades that really bring out the brown in my eyes. I mainly used my Mac Quad and played with Ricepaper on my lids and Sable to create a burgundy kind of crease. Whenever I find myself in little pits of feeling down, I try to just smile and breathe. Sparcky and I have been cooped up in my room the last two days and my nerves have been at an all time high with the excitement and nervousness of the approaching California trip. 

I'm scared. I'm scared to go back to my childhood home and not feel home anymore. I've been away for a year and a half now and haven't seen people I love in a very long time. People moved on and we all grew up, when I left I was still a round little girl who had all these hopes and dreams. I had to grow up really fast and have come to realise so much in this short time that nothing is ever going to be the same. I think I'm mostly just scared of tainting the memories. Moving was such a roller coaster and I was mad for such a long time, at everything, at the world, at myself and I've come to accept things and just take time to remember beautiful moments I had with people I love. It's scary to go back and see everything be different, seeing people I love living a life without me. I think I'm mostly afraid of whether or not I'll be able to handle all of this, I keep a lot bottled up and try very hard not to let people in too easily. I haven't really developed any close friendships here or attachments at all and I've been this way since I moved. It's going to be emotionally heart wrenching to find myself in a world where every street has memories that I'll always cherish but can never relive. 

Growing up is scary and this mess of life is scary and everything is scary sometimes and that's alright. It's alright to admit that, even if I can't admit that out loud, at least here in the comfort of my little blog I can admit that I'm scared and I'm not as strong as everyone thinks I am. I'm just going through a lot lately and really really just want to say thank you, thank you for reading this blog and thank you for the support and thank you for giving me something to feel passionate about again. I haven't felt happiness like the kind I do when I write posts and get wonderful comments and responses from you in so long. I may not have friends but I have a very big attachment to this blog and to all of you and I just want to say thank you. 

I hope everyone is doing a little well and if you're scared or feeling overwhelmed with anything or everything, just know you're not alone. You can always shoot me a tweet or email and we can try to get through things together.  Happy Weekend Beauties. 

Stefanie xx
SHARE:

8 comments:

  1. I really hope that you have a wonderful trip. There will be a lot of memories there and even though things may be different, don't let those things change all of the good memories you have. It's important to always hold on to good memories, they help us get through the not so good times <3

    Jennie xo | sailorjennie.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love your make up here you are such a natural beauty! Growing up is definitely scary since moving to Uni i've grown up more than I ever imagined but its just a part of life! I was so excited to go home and when I got here i kept on referring to University as "home" it was really strange! You'll have an amazing time in California, it's absolutely stunning!

    Be sure to check out my giveaway on my most recent post!
    http://abigailalicex.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. Such a pretty make-up look, I've never left home and if it makes you feel any better over the last few years nothings really changed at all, I hope the same stands for you! :) xx

    Jamie-Lee | Glitter Infatuation | Beauty & Lifestyle Blog!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love this makeup just flawless.
    http://rumelatheshopaholic.blogspot.in

    ReplyDelete
  5. you look so lovely in these photo's, your eye makeup is stunning! Just a quick question...did you create the little circles for other social media (like twitter, instagram etc) yourself or did you download them from somewhere? they look lovely!! x x

    www.charlottesweb8.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hey Charlotte. Thanks for the lovely response and actually I saved the images from a website or blog that I liked to use and then went ahead and downloaded them onto a photo account (I used photo bucket) then to get them to be nifty little links, I looked up the code for image links like the html on google and just added it to my blog!
      I was totally lost at first as well and it rather hard to explain. If you have any more questions or are completely confuzzled by my response tweet me @stefaniemmariee

      Delete
  6. Aw it must be awful to feel that way, but I think you've just got to take it one step at a time and hopefully it won't be as difficult as you think. Your makeup looks lovely, by the way.

    Natalie | Just a Thought

    ReplyDelete
  7. You have lovely eyebrows! (Is that weird to say?)

    Char
    xo

    www.CharsNotSoSecretThoughts.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

© casuallyawkward. All rights reserved.
Blogger Template by pipdig