Everything feels hard to swallow lately. It's like a mound of pressure is constantly sitting on my chest and in my throat and I'm having trouble breathing. I've been crying. Tears are constantly sitting on my waterline waiting to drop and I'm so confused and tired. Shay just went out for a walk and he didn't ask me to come. Why am I sitting here? Why am I not running after him? I think I'll go. I'll go catch up. We won't talk. It's hard to go outside and leave this house. I'm so sad. Sad isn't even the word for everything anymore. I'm everything and nothing.
Gone for a walk.

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