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Monday, December 25, 2017

Christmas.

If I really think about it, I don't feel like myself anymore and to be honest I'm unhappy with most of my life right now. I'm currently sitting in my bedroom fully clothed and sad after angrily dropping Shay off to workout on Christmas day. I was confused and felt self assure until I opened up my blog and came here. 

I used to come here everyday. The voice behind my words sounds like me, but it sounds like a memory too. I used to like her. She was vulnerable and thought pretty things and everything mattered. She used to take moments as they were and appreciated everything. 

Sometimes we fight and it feels like everything has changed but really... I have. Is it really change when you don't like who you are now and long to be who you used to be? Is everything over even though you miss the old you too? I know the problem. I see the problem. I just don't know the solution. What did the old me do that the new me doesn't anymore?

She used to feel passion. I'm passion-less and ruining a good thing that I don't want to end. So I'll come back here more often and I'll work on being me. I have to find myself again before I lose more than just me. 


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