Inspiration.

Words are swung around so loosely that most times nothing tends to really stick. Some people recall a line of letters and will live by that string for their entire lives. Others forget most facts but can memorise the harmonies of their favourite tracks. Words have always been significant and most of my life consists of remembering irreplaceable selections of sounds that somehow have effected me. What's the hardest thing someone has ever said to you? There is a difference between something that is coated with anger, emotion, or lust. There is a difference between an insult, a compliment, a hushed breathe and the sound of someone you love. 

The hardest thing anyone has ever said to me was that I didn't inspire them. 

What a strange coarse phrasing that touched my skin like sandpaper. Inspiration. What is inspiration but the mere sense to continue onwards and believe. We all can name off a handful of people or places, events or things that have left us with the odd hum of inspiration in our time of being. To love is to know and to know is to understand and for me to understand that someone I know didn't find me inspiring, somehow left me open.My bones have heard the clatter of hard statements times before. It's thick nature still peels zebra stripes as the scars leave me bare but this one didn't slice, didn't cut, didn't imprint on me there but instead it stayed and the letters that create that sentence are forever written in my blood stream. Pooling in my veins with deep colors of pain and I sit and ponder. Ponder what it is to inspire, to impress, to excite and I find the bitter taste of lacklustre self and understand that I lack the notion with or without the praise. I want to be inspiring. I aspire to inspire no one but only myself. And one day the hardest words I'd heard and written and said will be the definition for the woman I remember in my head. 

Aspire to be Inspiring.